Twelve Steps? How About ONE
I am an extremely UN-spiritual person. This perspective means that I have a generally negative attitude about the "Twelve Step" recovery approach. Besides its overt religious connections, I don't agree with the self-perspective it fosters.
I believe in taking responsibility for mistakes, failures, and shortcomings--And in taking the credit for successes and abilities. This idea that some unseen force, including a deity or some other supernatural entity, is responsible for manipulating us when we fail or being our strength when we succeed...I can't get behind that!
I get quite disgusted with the lengths to which some people will look for ways to dismiss themselves of all responsibility for what they do. They're "powerless." People who take up "Fat Acceptance" have surrendered to their limitations. People who seek out Twelve Step recovery believe they are "powerless" under the control of the substance or behavior they abuse. In these and many other ways, we have become a culture that looks for where to place blame: Anywhere but on ourselves!
I believe we are only "powerless" if we choose to be. Any problem or issue or negative behavior we might deal with CAN be solved if we work hard to find the right solution. We are only powerless if we choose to SURRENDER and see ourselves as victims forever.
For my whole life up until 2005, I was unable to take control of my eating addiction and resolve my weight problem. I was not powerless. It took until 2005 for me to find the solution to my problem. And when I found it, I put it to work in my life. I applied myself very conscientiously and achieved the maximum benefit I could out of the opportunity I had discovered.
I made the solution permanent. Consider this simple analogy: Once I got on the right road, I wanted to take it as far away as possible so that I could never go back. The longer and harder the journey back became, the less likely it would be that I would return to my starting point. This is what I meant yesterday when I wrote that The More You Change, The More You Will Be Changed. For example: Exercise has become such a routine part of my life now that my body will actually tell me it needs to move. I've become addicted to the way I feel after working out hard; I am addicted to the rush and the sense of accomplishment that comes from pushing myself further, from feeling physically capable, physically confident, and athletic. I lost that sense that my body could be overwhelmed by limitations. That in itself is life-changingly liberating!
I consider myself permanently CHANGED FOR GOOD with a totally new perspective on my life.
I feel that some recovery strategies want you to believe that failure, relapse, and recidivism is a constant threat; that you are a permanently flawed person and you'll need to lean on crutches forever. The philosophy wants you to immerse yourself in recovery culture for your own good.
I believe you can leave things in the past and distance yourself from them by creating that sense in your life that you are permanently changed. To return to negative behaviors would make me feel like I am undermining everything I've worked so hard to earn! I can't do that to myself anymore! It would make me feel like I am abusing myself and being self-destructive. I can't do that anymore.
Deep, extensive changes are what will change you for good. It takes a lot of work. Persistent, consistent DAILY work and effort. The payoff is worth it.
Take just one step but take it every day, all the time, from this moment on.
Ask yourself: What needs to be done now?
I believe in taking responsibility for mistakes, failures, and shortcomings--And in taking the credit for successes and abilities. This idea that some unseen force, including a deity or some other supernatural entity, is responsible for manipulating us when we fail or being our strength when we succeed...I can't get behind that!
I get quite disgusted with the lengths to which some people will look for ways to dismiss themselves of all responsibility for what they do. They're "powerless." People who take up "Fat Acceptance" have surrendered to their limitations. People who seek out Twelve Step recovery believe they are "powerless" under the control of the substance or behavior they abuse. In these and many other ways, we have become a culture that looks for where to place blame: Anywhere but on ourselves!
I believe we are only "powerless" if we choose to be. Any problem or issue or negative behavior we might deal with CAN be solved if we work hard to find the right solution. We are only powerless if we choose to SURRENDER and see ourselves as victims forever.
For my whole life up until 2005, I was unable to take control of my eating addiction and resolve my weight problem. I was not powerless. It took until 2005 for me to find the solution to my problem. And when I found it, I put it to work in my life. I applied myself very conscientiously and achieved the maximum benefit I could out of the opportunity I had discovered.
I made the solution permanent. Consider this simple analogy: Once I got on the right road, I wanted to take it as far away as possible so that I could never go back. The longer and harder the journey back became, the less likely it would be that I would return to my starting point. This is what I meant yesterday when I wrote that The More You Change, The More You Will Be Changed. For example: Exercise has become such a routine part of my life now that my body will actually tell me it needs to move. I've become addicted to the way I feel after working out hard; I am addicted to the rush and the sense of accomplishment that comes from pushing myself further, from feeling physically capable, physically confident, and athletic. I lost that sense that my body could be overwhelmed by limitations. That in itself is life-changingly liberating!
I consider myself permanently CHANGED FOR GOOD with a totally new perspective on my life.
I feel that some recovery strategies want you to believe that failure, relapse, and recidivism is a constant threat; that you are a permanently flawed person and you'll need to lean on crutches forever. The philosophy wants you to immerse yourself in recovery culture for your own good.
I believe you can leave things in the past and distance yourself from them by creating that sense in your life that you are permanently changed. To return to negative behaviors would make me feel like I am undermining everything I've worked so hard to earn! I can't do that to myself anymore! It would make me feel like I am abusing myself and being self-destructive. I can't do that anymore.
Deep, extensive changes are what will change you for good. It takes a lot of work. Persistent, consistent DAILY work and effort. The payoff is worth it.
Take just one step but take it every day, all the time, from this moment on.
Ask yourself: What needs to be done now?
posted by Dagny at
5:22 AM
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